Pumpkin Soup

souper douper
01 Nov 2011 Serves two full bowl-fulls Means Some butter An Onion (Chopped) 2 cloves of garlic (Keeps the vampires away. Even the ones with a y) 1.5 pints of Chicken Stock (Either from a chicken or from a cube) Pumpkin. About a pound (A clue: One 6 pound medium-large pumpkin and one small pumpkin yield about 5 pounds of pumpkin flesh when carved out) Spices, Herbs (I used a tiny amount of nutmeg and some thyme) Method from Kitchen import Saucepan, Liquidizer pot = new Saucepan($base = “heavy”) pot.Content.append(“butter”) pot.heat(high) pot.Content.append(onion) pot.Content.append(garlic) while (onion.state != “clear”){pot.Fry(1m)} pot.Content.append(stock) pot.Content.append(pumpkin) pot.Content.append(herbs, spices) pot.Simmer(20m) liquidiser = new Liquidizer liquidiser.Content = pot.Content liquidiser.Whizz(1m) soup = liquidizer.Content (Any similarity to any languages, living or dead, is entirely co-incidental) {Tags: , , } {More...}

Red Chicken

26 Oct 2011 Heat oil, some chop chicken, some garlic, some onion, fry. Add some random spices to make spicy-fried-chicken base. Realise that the sour cream is more important than you thought. Give up on fajitas. Turn down heat on flash-fry, find a saucepan and throw together a roux and then a white sauce. Put some water on for rice. (A few  months ago I decided that missing from my basic stock of "things I can cook with my eyes closed" was a white sauce. I know the theory, but I spent a few nights playing until I could produce a servicable white sauce by guesswork ... {Tags: , , , } {More...}

Pears and Sausages

19 Oct 2011 Lets start with a quote. From the Lies Of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch: The white-robed boys swept back their hoods and Locke saw that they were twins; perhaps a year or two older than himself, and far sturdier-looking. They had the olive skin and black hair of the true Camorri; their identical long, hook-ended noses, however, were something of an anomaly. Smiling, they joined hands and bowed in unison from the waist. ‘Um, hi,’ Locke said. ‘Which of you is . . . which?’ ‘Today, I am Galdo,’ said the one on Locke’s left. ‘Tomorrow, I will probably be Galdo,’ said the other ... {Tags: , , } {More...}

Chickens In Blankets

11 Oct 2011 You will require: (x is the number of people) (2x) wide slices of bacon x large chicken breasts Thyme Basil Oil (Vegetable/Sunflower will do, or use butter if you prefer) Tin Foil An Oven A Baking Tray An hour.Preheat the oven to somewhere medium-low, ensure your chicken is defrosted. If your chicken is not defrosted, defrost your chicken. Tear off a piece of tin foil large enough to cover all chicken-breasts when lined up on the tray twice. That is, where len is the breadth of the breast, 2(len*x)+mzrk. Where mzrk is a random length that accounts for being able to do with said tin foil everything we are going to do ... {Tags: , , } {More...}

Fish & Crisps

04 Oct 2011 You will require: Fish Fillets One per person. Smoked, for preference. The recipe says unsmoked, but the recipe says a lot of things we will be comfortably ignoring over the next twenty minutes. Salad Dressing Thick, creamy, italian-style white salad dressing that isn’t Ceaser dressing. Nor is it Caeser dog food. This is Important. You’ll need about one bottle per three fillets, streaching to four fillets if it really has to. Chedder Cheese Some. Grated thinly. A packet of unsalted crisps. That’s right, unsalted crisps. Apparently you can get these easily in the states, but for those of us on this side of the atlantic I suggest you ... {Tags: , , , } {More...}

Chicken Bacon Somerset

27 Sep 2011 A recipe for disaster Did you know that in america, people buy pasta by the box? How big is a box? We don’t know. Thus, when a recipe starts “take two boxes of rice”, we should know to leave the hell alone. Hah, I decided, your strange american phrasings cannot harm me, my culinary genius is like a shield of steel. Take one cup of rice. That is, take a small mug, put rice into it, pour it into boiling water, and boil it for 7 minutes. Drain. Meanwhile, cook two chicken breasts (either properly or by bunging them in the nukeomatic for a ... {Tags: , , , } {More...}

Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt & Leeks

20 Sep 2011 Today's culinary experiment was taken from Emperor's LJ: Sausage & Apple braise 1lb cooking apples, peeled & cored 1lb leeks, trimmed 1lb pork sausage meat 2 × 1/4ozoz pkt instant potato salt & pepper 7fl oz dry cider 1 level tsp dried mixed herb chopped fresh parsley or mint for garnish serves 4 Cut apples into thick, even slices. Finely slice leeks & wash well. Put apples in boiling water, bring back to boil and blanche for 1 minute. Drain & cool quickly. Repeat with leeks. With wetted hands, shape sausage meat into balls about size of large cherry. In lightly buttered 3pt ovenproof dish layer up the apple,leek and half the sausage balls with a ... {More...}


bakery & cakery
13 Sep 2011 A recipish You will require: Bowls. Time. Effort. An Oven. A nine inch cake tin. Preferably one with a loose bottom. Greaseproof paper. Not tinfoil. All your base: Bikkits. Cinnamon Nutmeg Butter Brown sugar. The creamy goodness: Cream Cheese Sour Cream Double (Heavy) Cream Sugar Flour Vanilla Extract Eggs Madness Take your cake tin and line it with something. The recipe recommends butter, but this doesn’t work terribly well. Last couple of times I’ve tried Tinfoil. If you really, really want to use tinfoil, then do, but the shear effort it takes to line the cake tin in tinfoil would be better spent walking to the local supermarket and saying “What ho, fine supermarket, sell me one roll of your fine grease-proof paper, ... {Tags: , , , } {More...}

Banana Bread

bakery & cakery
06 Sep 2011 The Means: Shock Troop Legion Pyrate: Flour Baking Powder Bicarbonate of Soda Salt Shock Troop Legion Astound: Butter Sugar Vanilla Essence Shock Troop Legion Screwdriver: Bananas Eggs Shock Troop Legion Optional Sandwich Toaster: Sultanas Dark Rum or Bourbon The Stuff: Teaspoons A large bowl A smaller bowl An Optional Even Smaller Bowl A whisk or whizzer thingy Bread Loaf Tins An oven, Preheated to Gas Mark 3 Spoons, both literal and metaphorical. Fewer metaphorical ones than literal ones. A recyclable carrier bag. The Madness Our unit for creation is the Demifish. One Demifish makes two loaves of banana bread. All other units are in Metric, for you can prize the metric system from my cold, dead, 1980s-primary-school-educated fingers. Or translate them using Google. Shock Troop Optional Sandwich Toaster ... {Tags: , , , } {More...}

Chicken Stock

30 Aug 2011 Traditionally, the model of cookery was to make food, then make more food from the leftovers. I don't do that so much, but one remainder of it I do attempt to try is making Chicken Stock from the remains of a stripped roast chicken. It's pretty easy, and tastes a lot better than stock reconstituted from a knorr tub or an oxo cube. My standard stock recipe is: a Sprig of basil a Onion a Carrot a Chicken a Celery of which the only actually important bit of it is the Celery and the Chicken. This is something of an annoyance, as celery's generally the thing on ... {Tags: , } {More...}